I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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