I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
