So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
