in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
