Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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