she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
