OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
