Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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