I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
