You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
