I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
