Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
