hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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