He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
