Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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