The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
