The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
