So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
