They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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