there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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