Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
