My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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