So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's like iHOP with fire
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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