can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
