but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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