thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
