I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize