eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
