i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
