She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
