The maid of honor just puked.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
