wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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