ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
