i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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