I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
