Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
