butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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