About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
