somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
