Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize