my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I will be naked everywhere
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
