We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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