Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
