its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
