the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
