just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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