Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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