the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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