Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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