No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
