Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
