What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
