Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
