DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
