I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
