so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
