We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
