We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
