Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
