i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
