i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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