you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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