More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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