dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
