if you like me you must not know who I am
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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