I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
